After we journeyed a milestone in life, we sometimes asked ourselves what would be our next move. Or where to next? We got halted on several matters like what if we do this and what would others think.
We wondered what to explain why we do this and that. We wonder what success metrics we can tell during the gathering. What if we bumped into people we met in the past?
Sometimes we met familiar faces who were more interested to know about our privacy which got nothing to do with them.
Why are they so interested? It served them for gossip purposes only.
People wasted time catching up over coffee and tea gossiping than empowering one another. Recognize that these are not our friends. They are there to distract us with their noises.
High socially intelligent people would not question others why they have not achieved certain matters in their life by a certain age.
The intelligent people knew there could be varying reasons for that. Behind the scenes, no one can fully explain what they went through themselves.
A less of a socially intelligent person would be more interested in personal privacy.
They would poke their noses into private matters like:
- why people are not married by a certain age, or
- why the couple had not had sex after their matrimonial oath, or
- why the women had not given birth despite being married, and many other matters.
These are personal questions people with high social intelligence will not ask others.
- It is not normal.
- It is not a common FAQ — Frequently Asked Questions.
People of the past generations loved to ask such personal questions because they ran out of topics to have good conversations. It happened during festive gatherings or wedding fiesta. It seemed they were programmed to ask that way, subsequently passed down to the next generations.
When we feel obligated to answer every question from everyone, we will be tired and under the weather sooner or later.
We might be running around to get therapy or looking for places to learn meditation. It is tiring to explain to everyone and repeat everything many times. Whatever our reasons are, they will not buy it too. Most of the time, these energy vampires among siblings, family or relatives, and friends only wanted to rub more salt into our heart.
So, know our worth. Know your worth!
You do not have to explain why you had not studied for a “paper” degree.
Look at how the pandemic came and swept away the jobs people with these educational qualifications had.
Why is the qualification unable to defend their sustenance against the Covid19?
When we asked them the power of their degree that could not defeat the Covid19, they might be thinking we are crazy. Isn’t that God’s power?
But whenever they ask about why we are not a graduate or married or having children, they will refuse to acknowledge we all lived by God’s plan too.
People do not have to know why we kept going unemployed today, tomorrow, or in the future.
Today someone is seated in a managerial position became stuck up or bossy. The next day, they report to someone younger than them in a higher job position than who they had been.
Today they are highly sought for in the industry. The next day, they are like losers competing with the next generation.
Do you know why? It is because knowledge retention won’t last longer than 2-years. We forget whatever we learned from the pages of the school textbooks.
Today they sit in fantabulous job positions. The next day, they have to take minor work like cleaners or babysitting jobs to get by their life.
Beneath these layers of questions, people are asked just to be competitive or set comparisons between families.
I am sure the Asian families lived centuries from generation to generation asking for updates about many matters which are none of their business.
The next time we meet anyone asking about our privacy, remember the television box. The remote control is in our hands. We choose the channel we want to listen to and watch. It is where our energy goes.
Just the same, we got control over what we want to say. We are not obligated to answer to everyone. It is where our energy goes too.
Nobody has the right to decide for us how or what our life should be.
People who are concerned will not be asking us to explain. Those who asked are usually using us as their entertainment or for their amusement.
People who are concerned will not offer us alternatives against our plans.
Have you ever spoken your passion, dreams, and desires to your family, siblings, friends, colleagues, and religious circles? And then they all started to give you their reactions that those were impossible?
I learned it the hard way.
When you need to share anything or explain to seek some understanding, never turn to everyone around. Not everyone is willing to be the audience. Not everyone is ready to accept your views and hopes of your future.
A person who sincerely cares will not deviate from being supportive of your dreams.
They will not brush it away but find solutions for you to get there. If they are unable to help in any way, they will not cause difficulties for you in their words or actions to reach your dreams and goals.
Giving a personal experience, my elder sister refused to be a health worker when she only breezed through her Advanced Levels results in college. Why? Because it was not her interest.
She wanted to work in the bank, which made her mom happy because of the money earned a lot.
When you do not like being forced into something, never use the same way to others against what is not in their goals.
Everyone is different.
