Through Life as a Stewardess
I Wonder What Makes Him Tell Me He Had Depression
When people feel comfortable to share their heart’s content on a personal level, it means you are their safe haven…
[Disclaimer]: Names* are changed to protect the identity of my loved ones. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
Has it occurred to you that people start to share anything personal without you asking them a question? If yes, I am sure this article will resonate well with you.
Now, why are some people like a magnet attracting others who voluntarily tell sensitive matters?
In Spirituality, some Dervishes or Monks say we attract people naturally by our positive vibrations without realizing it.
In Layman’s term, there is a magnetic effect which pulls people towards us comfortably.
In Reality, there are plenty of reasons why I tend to meet people who start pouring sensitive personal heartfelt moments to me.
And this young man hasn’t known me for many months. He opens up to me his dark moments — depression.
Let’s hear out the story…
“I have depression…I cannot enroll into XXX because of my depression…” — Emmet*
I wonder how your reaction will be when a person who hasn’t known you for more than 365 days suddenly tell you he has depression. If you ask me for my reaction, I will say…
I’ve been to Hell and now that I returned from it, I know what despair, despondent, hopelessness and ec cetera feels like…I do not hope or pray for someone else to go through the same.
The pain we go through isn’t about making us stronger or colder, but an option or a choice to pull up others back to their feet. It’s called an opportunity to make a difference.
We can only do it if we have love for humanity in our hearts.
Perhaps not to the people we know for personal reasons…but you can find strangers or animals, as a start to heal your heart.
“I feel that Thadeus do not like me…but I don’t care…I continue talking to him since we are working here…,” said Emmet*.
Ellerie* tried to hush the negativity away from Emmet’s expression. Instead, I acknowledge it because it happens in front of my eyes. He is not being negative. He is aware of how people treat him. Kind or unkind.
And when someone tells you history or their depression or if they are in the state of depression, the last thing they will expect from you is…being brushed away of their feelings and emotions.
You got to acknowledge it to a certain point that you understand them.
Then, recommend the remedies or bring in the encouragement .
“Yes, I know. I notice it too. The way Thadeus speaks…I feel something isn’t right between the 2 of you. We do not want a bad ass attitude among the part-timers…You know, Gina* and I always remind each other no badass attitude at the workplace…We want joy…” I told Emmet
Why do people always approach you (and me) or pour out their hearts naturally? Here are some reasons for it…
1 — You Are Their Safety or Safe Haven
There is a level of trust which makes a person opens up to you their personal life stories. It is all up to you to be the genuinely encouraging person or avoid them as if they are carrying a contagious disease…
“…you are motherly…” — Rosy*
I guess that word means more towards loving and cherishing one another. Despite the truth that by age all of us are not getting any younger, to be thought as loving is something I prefer.
A son or daughter feels safe at the mother’s cribs. (Minus those who come from toxic family). Thus, I know this young man feels safe whenever he is with me.
2 — You Are Easy-Going
There is one way people who hasn’t known you well, will come to you often instead to others. It is when you are an easy-going person. They know you prefer peace and together-ness instead of competition and politics.
Yes, being easy-going brings peace within. I feel peaceful inside me. When I look at my restaurant manager who comes in with joy greeting me, I always wish I can be that joyful too. I want to be joyful more than grumpy.
The challenge of being easy-going is that everyone may think it is okay to mistreat you. Because people may think that you do not know how to be angry. You can be taken advantage too.
Sometimes, people wonder how another person may be well-liked or loved by bosses. He or she need not be a bootlicker trying to impress others.
The secret is…be easy-going. Address issues wherever there is. Find solutions to problems. You will be loved a dime! Because you ease others…
3 — You Are A Harmless Bitter Medicine or A Lover
Like my mentor here once shared, people who has been to Hell and came back from it has certain traits or standards to live by. And as we grow older, we prefer to be quieter.
Because being a chatterbox all the time loses the extra punch of humph when you speak something meant to be encouraging.
That is so true why the Sufis or Dervishes speak less. What comes from their speech are nothing else but wisdom or enlightenment.
Even if the Truth hurts, despite relayed carefully, the recipient are able to take it. He will still come back to you for more. He will want to improve.
Bitter medicine taste better when being served with a genuine heart of love.
So, practice having time to be quiet and do your work. Be a person whose heart has genuine Love. A person who has a history of depression will not be afraid to share their stories. They will not feel rejected. Choose love.
So, why do you think people are coming to you for a listening ear or sharing their personal life issues without you expecting or asking?
I have 3 points covered.
- You are their safety or safe haven
- You are easy-going
- You are their harmless bitter medicine or lover
Is it tiring to hear issues from other people? I think when I avoid being with problematic ones it is because I am tired of the day. I need some rest, too.