I feel you. Yes. Often the caregivers are the bad ones. My mom would call my aunt and uncle in secrecy and spoke bad about me. But at home, she would be nice like sweetie pie. I found out whenever I met my aunt and uncle. They blurted what my mom told them. And I know no matter what I'd done for her, the bad name will still be me. So be it. There are people who need to hear someone is bad to make themselves feel good.