Self Encouragement
Did You Just Limit Yourself Half Of Your Life?
Set the Alarm at 530am. Regardless you like or dislike getting up very early, you have no choice. You won’t miss the meow and woof of your fur friend till you drop off from your bed. Coffee or tea became your adrenalin booster to help you awaken.
Unexpectedly, you see yourself slumped sideways, sleepy again. You started saying, “If only I can…”
The End.
Yes.
The End.
It is Finished.
You spoiled the beginning of your day. You damaged your life with the word “If only…”
If only I had not left the job…
If only I could go back to sleep…
If only I had not married that guy…
If only my mother-in-law is dead…
If only I could come back to work later…
IF ONLY. The 2-words of regret.
One mistake I made earlier in life was giving my days to other people’s well-being without caring for myself. Jim Kwik also shared he met people who confessed their regret living part or half their lives for others.
There is a big difference between being kind and being nice. We don’t regret what we had given. For as many, as you give, you will receive. However, you will need to know your priority.
The World is The Most Unreliable Critic — Ethan Hawke
I must thank Lauren Bryan for sharing a very encouraging link with me. It was an added value of listening to the right people at the right time.
My friend, the only limitation we put on ourselves is our mindset. We tend to believe what the Word says.
Imagine you know you can paint very well. You buy canvases and acrylic paints. You know you can always sell the canvas of paintings across the globe. You don’t need to strike it tycoon rich at an instant. Then, your creativity does not last.
1-Month. 3-Months. 6-months. From no sales to just probably less than 10-customers. Maybe you made only a profit of $5 per canvas. Your mother came into the room, started asking demoralizing questions “How much have you made? Just $5?”
Then, you hear gossip from the living room where your family members back up each other “Yeah, as if he can make that much out of his painting job. There are so many office jobs out there. He’s just being choosy. Like as if he is a professional painter.”
Your sister said this and that to make herself better than you.
Your mom loved to add fuel to the fire because she enjoyed it.
Your dad smirked and said you are stupid and useless.
Your brother felt proud he did not have to go through the ordeal of sarcasm.
Your religious teacher preached the formulated answers even you can give yourself.
Your friends kept asking for updates like they cared and were concerned out of friendship, but most just wanted to be entertained.
People doubt you can do it. They tell you how you should be in your life. They prefer to decide for you:
What you should work as,
When you should get married,
How your sex life might have to be, and so on.
Your heart ached. Then, you also slumped into discouragement. You stopped painting. Your mind started playing the music, “When your mom’s blessings ain’t on you, you can’t be successful”.
So, you began beating up within that you will never succeed. Why? Because everyone said so.
Who writes your fate? Your mom, dad, sisters, brothers, friends, religious teacher, and the strangers who stood to pee in the cubicle next to you?
My friend.
It is time for you to befriend your Mind.
You are the only limit.
We all need a new mindset to begin something.
Then we need our self-esteem to spur that conviction we can do it.
We need to believe in ourselves first.
We do not need people’s approval, acknowledgment, or validation of who we are and what we are supposed to be. Do not let what people say define who you are. However, treat people kindly or nicely as you strive into your Path. I’m learning this too. I’m writing this for myself too.
A brand only represents a small percentage of you by job interviews. Some people passionately feel good about their ‘title’. However, the bad news is, we begin limiting ourselves by that label people looked at us.
Once we do that, we will face hurt when we decide to move away from what people expect us to be.
When someone knew I learned religion, they asked me a question. “Are you applying for an Ustadha license to teach?”
I felt myself being limited. When the world knows this writer from Yemen was a Digital Marketing Trainee who might not be a Digital Marketeer or perhaps in future working as an editor, copywriter, proofreader or maybe going onto the countries for humanitarian field purposes, the World will get disappointed.
You are a failure if you believe the World when they see you as a failure. Let me share a few tips for getting a start in breakthroughs.
1 — Know yourself first.
What do you love to do? People may think you do not know what you want in your life.
Once, a digital marketing trainee asked if she should only do a role of SEO and not content writing or events management if the boss added it to her role.
Place a person who can do everything for a job and someone else who only can do one section or do one small niche of a job, who would the company choose?
2 — When you think that the World is looking at you, in reality, nobody bothers about you.
Stop frightening yourself. Everyone is busy with themselves, trying to get whatever in a wish list. The more they have not achieved it, the more restless they can be.
So when people meet up with one another, be it, relatives or family members, I am sure they will start asking about other people’s current news. If you are still trying to figure out something for yourself, I am sure you will face tons of uninspiring comments. Why?
Some of them love to cast the stumbling block games, to ‘stall your mind’ from believing that you can. These are small people who made themselves feel big by making others small. Meet people to strengthen one another.
3 — Never share your dreams or goals with everyone.
Not everybody will be willing to listen. Not everyone is ready to accept because people put a limitation on others.
When you need to find sources for advice and encouragement, you need to access who you are going to. Will that person be ready to hear you and give all encouragement without judgment?
4 — Learn to sift what you hear, like sifting flour before you knead into a dough.
You don’t need to respond to everything in life. The World is already a noisy place to live. Imagine the pandemic that made most of us seated home, grounded?
What happened to those who can’t stop needing to meet up for ‘healthy debates’ and speak non-stop without a break?
When you entertain everything in life, you will get tired. Choose your battlefield carefully. Most of them waste your time and energy.
5 — Learn to be quieter even after being quiet for a long time.
I learned to ignore what people started labeling me and making noises about where I should work or what I should be.
When I don’t respond to their challenge to spark arguments, they tend to get annoyed and irritated among themselves. I breathe free. See where your energy goes daily.
Arguments lead to frictions and resentment. It makes us rude and crude. Nothing resolves or becomes better. So, be quiet. We can hear more when we learn to be quiet. Sometimes the solutions are right in front of us when we are silent.
6 — Wake up every day with a set of good speeches for yourself.
Your evil inner voices cast doubts in you. Before you can learn anything, you got to know your state of mind. State. Yes.
You may need to set a list of good words and say loud enough to yourself to hear, “ I am not stupid. I am good. God has great plans for me. I have a future”. Do it every morning, convincing yourself.
As a Muslim, I love to remind myself of the chapter of Ta-Ha. If you have poems or proverbs that you lived by, proclaim them daily. Let’s get our mindset right.
I hope you enjoyed what you read.
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