Dear Marc

How do I see what it means to me in the present about my past? For example, I revisit an account of my past where both my siblings are given support and never been prohibited to study for a degree. I am a middle child, but my mom said I am fated not to be a degree student. She gave me some money back then, but she wanted it quickly done in 2 years. While my siblings took between 5-10 years. Till now, I halted. I used the money to buy food and drinks for my basics since covid robbed me off work. It hurts. All my mom wanted was me to give up being a university grad knowing in Singapore without a degree it is not easy to get a job and ask for at least a decent pay. How do I look at these in the present? I don't understand what it means to me in the present except I still find it hurtful that my mom put me down a standard lower than my siblings. I felt bullied.