Life Lessons
3 Lessons From Chef Anthony Bourdain’s Film — Road Runner
It does not cross my mind that some questions about life simply point toward a word:
Emptiness…
Regardless the career we make out of what we are earning, every now and then we may wake up with mind-bogging questions.
- Are we really happy?
- Why is there the feeling of emptiness within us despite our achievements?
- Are all these that we do in life what we really wanted deep within?
- […fill in the blank yourself…]
And then we begin to wonder what we are looking for because that emptiness may creep into our soul, spirit, and self. You feel…
There is something…missing.
And this what I like about working in the kitchen because all ingredients teach us about life. When it comes to food tasting…I am asking myself what is missing? Did I miss out something?
I think over a documentary show — Road Runner. Sure, there are more than these 3 points I see in remembrance of Chef Anthony Bourdain’s life story.
Unexpecting. Nobody sees it coming.
He committed suicide. He was busy like a bee, gave the World his attention, his culinary advice to others, inspired people around him, worked around the clock from one country to another…Put laughter and smiles onto faces.
Thus, this reminds me…
… It is worth to be present in whatever we do, to just be present with whoever we are with, at that very moment…It isn’t the journey or the destination…but the company along the process…
Because behind all the working titles, ranks, smiles, jokes, and laughter…we do not know the sufferings of everyone.
Some present and express it without fear. Some hide it well. Just be present for one another.
Here are the 3 main focus I see aloud from the documentary show…
1 — It dawns upon you that when you grow older, at some point, you are all alone.
The reality sink into me that as I grow older, the group of people I share quality time with shrink a lot.
Married or choose to remain single. Done lots of sex or haven’t done sex before. Somewhere in life we may feel all alone. I am a witness this reality.
For example: my late aunt and my dad.
My late aunt died with cancer, never been married, and went through episodes of not knowing who was going to care for her. I saw her cried often but kept away the tears from everyone else.
I see my dad cried alone time and again. With brain cancer metastasizing his health, he grows into more confusion. Day by day. He enrages and throws aggressive tantrums.
I watch people leave this world one after another. From grandmama to grandpapa. From aunty to uncle. One by one, gone.
The reality sink into me that as I grow older, the group of people I share quality time with shrink a lot.
I am not surprised one day it surely crosses our mind that sometimes in life, we are alone. That moment feels sucks. I can’t imagine feeling it at 60s and above.
You are successful, I am successful…But are we really happy?
Little do I realized that happiness is a state of our mind. Not what we have or don’t.
Months ago, I bumped into one of my former bosses. He earned well, had a house, and invested in a condominium. One day he said to me:
“Lissa… I have money, family, my wife, children, my big car… But I’m still unhappy… My question to you is…are you happy?”
First glance at his message and I knew he could be just another red flag. Why are we unhappy despite having a lot of achievements?
My younger bro and elder sister surpassed me in education, job rank, and salary. But I knew deep inside happiness is questionable.
Sometimes when my thoughts begin to conform to the success matrix of this world, I always feel that we can only have a happy life if we complete the following by certain age smoothly.
- High school and University
- Eligibility to own a house
- Having car and motorbike licenses
- Managerial role at work
- Paid salary 4–8k dollars
- Married with a lot of sex enjoyment
- Getting pregnant and going through countless labor pain
- Having Instagram with travel photos with our spouse
- No divorce
Little do I realized that happiness is a state of our mind. Not what we have or don’t.
As for me, I’m happy when I come home to the chefs in the morning. The energy vibration of peace certainly gives me comfort until 11am. I feel I am in a safe abode. Protected and sufficient.
3 — To fall in love with Asia is one thing. To fall in love in Asia is another thing. Both happened to me. It’s a gift, a dream, a curse…The best thing, the happiest thing, but also the loneliest thing in the world…
I wished they had seen the saint in every one of them waiting for awakening. They already have their answers.
Best days do happen in Yemen. However, being the only Singaporean there was challenging. I loved it. But, sometimes, I disliked it.
Even though after a year over another Singaporean girl came, it did not make much difference. I was like a mother hen having to care for the youngsters whose parents sent them off far away into Yemen.
For what purpose? To learn the way of life — Etiquettes.
The simplest of etiquettes derive from just one word: Love.
I ended as a custodian in housekeeping, stewardessing, serving, and more or less like the Zen monk’s life.
It was meaningful because from the kitchen life I met countless lost souls, those in search of life and trying to understand their purposes for living.
While I’m constantly seeking and searching, people I met in Yemen looked to me for answers. I wished they had seen the saint in every one of them waiting for awakening. They already have their answers.
It was in Yemen I seen clarity.
- Our beliefs are just a continuation from those before us.
- The universe replenish herself with every new generation that one day our generation is over while we are still alive. Read it again.
- When people born in our year are bidding goodbye one by one, we are becoming alone. This will be the time we struggle to belief God will send someone to care.
Many more… the list goes exhaustive. I understand what makes a handful of Muslims prefer to be in Yemen. Disconnected to big data of Internet connectivity makes a person less distracted. Spiritual routines like chants forces one to be quieter.
In being quiet, we hear more. The noise comes within us. The signs come from our Lord. All are distinguishable. Clearly. Like Vın Diésel mentioned in Fast X movie:
Nowadays hardly anyone will listen.
To best describe it like Chef Anthony Bourdain said, it was a blessing and also a curse. A journey of loneliness.
The three points above I shared with you today, sometimes I am wishing I have absolute solutions. But I don’t.
All I have is to let you know…
- life is not the journey or destination entirely, but the company you have at the moment — cherish it
- be present for one another with love because you are unable to love if it isn’t for someone Higher Who first love us.
- protect the weak among us and let’s not forget the hands that feeds us
- find your beliefs even if it doesn’t align with your family or ancestral culture because it helps in times of need
May our Good God do not test us with loneliness and emptiness. May our Good God send us companions to love one another. May our Good God give us the attentiveness to see where our love is from because all of us reciprocate differently in kindness. Amen.
May you be filled with love tonight just by reading this. Amen.
I send my hugs to you.
Good Night
Lissa
